Being the target of bigotry and hate is not a fun thing. Last week during a casual conversation with some neighbours, one of them made a remark about “the dykes down the street who moved here from the States so they could get married”. It wasn’t just what he said, it was the hateful way he said it. To be honest, I was so shocked and caught off guard that my response was inadequate. I half-jokingly asked him how much he’d had to drink.

What should my response have been? What would your response have been? Maybe you believe homosexuality is sinful or unnatural. Does that mean it’s okay to let hateful, bigoted comments about gay people go unchallenged, or maybe even join in with a derogatory remark or two of your own?

When we do, I’m certain that God is deeply wounded, because he sees all of us as his children, created in his image, designed not for sin but for wholeness. If “love the sinner, hate the sin” comes to mind, please spare me. We’ve been taught that this is an appropriate response, when it’s really a self-righteous justification for refusing to accept certain people (those we consider to be involved in “really bad” sin) unless they change. That isn’t love, at least not God’s love. If it were, none of us would have any hope.

Unfortunately, several prominent Christians have set a poor example for the rest of us to follow. I will never forget my embarrassment when Jerry Falwell childishly referred to Ellen DeGeneres as “Ellen Degenerate” on network television. How could I defend his words to my gay friends? What he said confirmed what they already thought – that Christians are a bunch of judgemental, hateful bigots. “If that’s what Jesus is like”, one said, “I don’t want anything to do with him”. Falwell’s subsequent apology could not repair the damage.

In Ephesians 6, Paul tells us to put on the full armour of God so that we can stand against the devil’s schemes. He then says, “for our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.”

Christians readily latch on to “hot button” issues like homosexuality in a desire to serve God. We think we’re standing against the devil’s schemes by protesting gay marriage, fighting the so-called “Gay Agenda”, and portraying homosexuality as an especially abominable sin. I think we’ve really fallen for Satan’s number one scheme: Deception.

We’re deceived into fighting against the flesh and blood of human beings who bear God’s image. Gay people are not monsters; they are unique individuals, deeply loved by God. They are somebody’s child, brother, or mother. They are smart and funny, creative and kind, flawed and broken – just like you and I. If all we see is their homosexuality, and refuse to befriend them, we need to repent.

If anyone says, “I love God,” and hates his brother, he is a liar; for he who does not love his brother whom he has seen cannot love God whom he has not seen. (1 John 4:20)

Our struggle is not against gay people, or any people, for that matter – except possibly ourselves. It’s easy to love and accept people who are like us and agree with our beliefs, but that’s not what we’re called to do. As it says in Luke, even ‘sinners’ love those who love them. God is calling us to love everyone – friend, enemy, Christian, non-Christian, heterosexual, homosexual, black, white, brown, wealthy, poor, educated, illiterate – the way he loves us, just as we are. We can’t earn his love. It’s quite simply a gift.

Human nature makes it challenging to love and accept people who aren’t like us. But Jesus gives us a new nature, his nature, so we can love supernaturally. It’s this supernatural love that attracts people to Christ.

The next time you have an opportunity to respond to anti-gay “jokes”, or encounter a real, live gay person, I hope you’ll think of two things: The image-bearer behind the label, and the gift of God’s unconditional love, which none of us deserve.