Life, streamed
I’m involved in a special free livestream event on Tuesday, June 21st, entitled “pastors’ conversation: navigating LGBT issues & questions”. Five pastors will be interacting with each other, gay Christians, and an audience of thousands (okay, maybe not that many) via Ustream, a live video streaming service. Pretty cool stuff, in my opinion, since I love all things techno-internet-related.
It’s also cool because I’m excited to hear what the pastors and gay Christians have to say. Some of you may think “gay Christian” is an oxymoron, and actually, I did until not too long ago. I was well-schooled in a stream of Christianity that leaves very little room for questions, disagreements, doubts or ambiguity.
My eyes began to open when I realized that being accepted as part of this particular “family” required a type of pretending – pretending everything was okay when it wasn’t, pretending we all agreed on everything when we didn’t, turning a blind eye to obvious abuses of power in leadership – all in the name of “unity”. Fear-based “unity” has a name: Dictatorship.
Years ago, an acquaintance described me as “brutally honest”, and that’s how I’ve always been. I don’t mind that description, because I believe God is brutally honest. He desires truth more than anything else; truth requires honesty; honesty requires humility; humility requires repentance – a turning away from pretending towards brutal, unvarnished honesty.
All I claim to know at this point is that Jesus loves me. My story will be written in the Book of Life, not because I deserve to be there, but because I’m honest about the one thing that really matters: I fall short of God’s standard, and have been given the free gift of his grace through Jesus Christ.
I love Jesus. I gave my heart and life to him almost 16 years ago. From my earliest memories, I have been attracted to women. When I became a Christian I believed that God would change me, and he did in many, many ways. However, the truth is, I’m still predominantly attracted to women.
My hope in writing this is that some of you will set aside your preconceived ideas and listen to the real hearts of people like myself who love Jesus and are same-gender attracted. It won’t be nearly as scary as you think.
